Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

How do I get off Paxil?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why do men say women hit the wall at 24?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why is it so hard to date nowadays?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Has anyone been tricked into having sex with a shemale? How was the experience?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

What are the 10 things you regret doing in your life?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do flat earthers exist?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Do guys prefer big boobs or small boobs? Why?

I see through liars

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?

I actually pay taxes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

My boyfriend wants to break up over too many petty arguments. To me, they are molehills because I truly love him & don't really think twice about them. If he loved me would he work through it?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What makes you feel guilty the most?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

How can I get over a break up?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why do people procrastinate and how can they stop?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Are there any Indian wife swapping stories?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can read

Why do so many 18 to 29-year-old men struggle in dating?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can count

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability